I’ve Got This Fucking Thorn in My Side…

Its 2am. I am 30 in 6 months and I still have the emotional range of an 8-year-old. I wear the same sort of clothes I did 10 years ago and definitely have not aged mentally beyond the age of 17; I got my lip pierced while on leave last week…  I’m listening to Beastie […]

The Silencing of SUI

There seems to be a growing number of clinicians using social media to reach out and share their knowledge with the wider world; or are they? What I have come to realise is that the internet, Twitter in particular is full of passive-aggressive charlatans claiming to be the truth, the way and the life of […]

Ward Life

I’ve been on the ward just over a week.. It’s been enlightening. From the oddities of other inpatients, the monotonous structure of each day, crisis and interesting team dynamics.   The first day came and went quietly for me but there was one quite unwell woman that did a lot of shouting, banging and attempting […]

Goldilocks and the Three Bed Managers

I have been trying to make sense of the last 11 days to no avail. It began on Friday 28th of April around lunch time. Before then the day was fine; I’d got through my usual routine of going to work, catching up with paper work and going on visits. The last visit before I […]

The Flood

It’s been 7 years since I was last on home treatment; I found a few weekends ago that their approach hasn’t changed much. Due to the psychotic symptoms I’ve been having, I saw my CPN after my partner had explained what had been going on. She asked me 5 or 6 times if I felt […]

The Hiatus

I had a five month blogging hiatus, my head got a bit talky and I started writing again – what’s that all about? Is it the ‘link’ between creativity and madness? Is it because my head’s too fucked to do all the other things I really should be but this makes me feel less avoidant… […]

Cacophony of Cunts

I’ve learned it’s very difficult to enjoy the company of others when there’s a raging cacophony of voices that only you can hear, telling you, you deserve to die and that your death should happen by your own hand with immediate effect. What’s more difficult is being at a comedy gig and genuinely finding the […]